June 27th 2018
Today was one of the bigger days of my career so far. I’m in Germany for a bunch of workshops/meetings with a bunch of people who are far more important than me.
To begin with I was apprehensive, but I think I grew into it. It took me a while, but I positioned myself to only contribute if I had something that was definitely worth mentioning, or something that would contribute to the discussion with importance.
At some points there were like 25 people in the room, so it was somewhat overwhelming. But, I flew all the way to Germany for this, so I figured it was better to say what I had to say than to say nothing.
I guess it’s just a case of being confident that you’re there for a reason. That you wouldn’t be there if you didn’t deserve to be there.
So I tried my best to own it. I think I did okay. There were some points when I got a bit overwhelmed by the occasion and it’s importance, and so decided it was more prudent to stay quiet, but I think I struck the balance between “say something” and “say nothing” pretty well, although there were probably a few more things that I would say if I had the chance again.
That’s on me though. I went with a sort of checklist of things I wanted to mention, but I didn’t want to force those points into the conversation, so I just waited for the relevance.
One way I can describe it that I hope will make sense is this: every time I go to a nightclub, I am acutely aware of the fact that I am the only person in the club wearing glasses. And that used to make me self-concscious.
But, like, I need to wear glasses to see things. So it’s important that I wear them.
Similarly, it’s important that I had things to say during today’s workshops, and I think I covered my points. So, I just ignored the things that scared me and cracked on as best I could.
And that’s all I could hope for.
Oh, except the thai food we had for dinner for the sake of a featured image for this blog.
Until tomorrow, and that’s all I couldr really hope for.