January 27th 2018
Today I was given a contraption to help fight my cold. My Dad came round to drop off a hoover (that isn’t the contraption I’m talking about) and he brought with him a cold-fighting machine.
I’d just spent £8 on this anti-congestion stuff that turned out to be 100% pure bottled sea water, so I was willing to try anything to clear my sinuses up. Seriously. It advertised on the bottle as ‘100% pure sea water’ as if that was supposed to persuade me.
Of course, I didn’t read that bit before I bought the thing, I just read ‘decongestion’ and gave the lady in Boots a tenner. I may as well have ran down to the river at the bottom of my road and stuck my head under water, and then thrown a tenner in for good measure. That would’ve done as much good as the bottle of 100% pure sea water.
So when my Dad showed up with a sinus contraption that looked part Bane-mask and part plastic-robot-alien, I was willing to try it. He crushed some crystals into the base and poured boiling water over it.
I now realise that this sounds part hippy-crap/part actual-crack, but, to his defence, it kind of worked.
And I say ‘kind of’ because my sinuses are no longer congested, but my left ear is. So, you know… what you lose on the swings you make up for on the roundabouts.
Other than the fact my left ear now feels like it’s underwater, I hope that I’m now on the right side of the cold that has kept me bedridden for the last four days.
My head hurts less, my joints don’t ache as much, my eyes are going back to normal, and I’m complaining far more infrequently than I was yesterday, so that’s good.
Until tomorrow, I’m almost better.