April 20th 2017
Today I played frisbee for two straight hours. We were at Studland beach, and I bought a frisbee from the giftshop to keep myself entertained. This entire holiday all I’ve wanted to do is run, climb things, play football, play basketball, throw and catch and no play frisbee. Something about being by the sea has made me really energised.
It’s kinda funny how I, a grown man, can be entertained by throwing a frisbee back and forth for so long.
I’ve always thought that if I ever went to jail then I’d be fine as long as I had a tennis ball to throw against the wall over and over for the duration of my sentence – like Steve McQueen in The Great Escape. I could entertain myself all day with that.
That simple, repetitive bounce, bounce, catch, bounce, bounce, catch. I’d always be enthralled by it because I’d make a competition out of it. With myself. Catch it four times in a row, and then five times, and then six times, and then one hundred times, and then one thousand times. I’d try to beat my previous best every time. And that would keep me going all day, and until the end of my theoretical sentence.
It’s why I get obsessed with iPhone games like Doodle Jump and Temple Run and why I never let myself download Flappy Bird – because I’d get so obsessed with beating my own hi-score that I’d never put my phone down and I’d end up an unproductive, lazy, worthless human being.
I wouldn’t be worried about that if I was in prison, but I’m fairly sure they don’t let you play iPhone games (or even have an iPhone) in prison, so I’d have to make do with a tennis ball – or a frisbee, if I made any prison friends in this hypothetical incarceration situation.
There’s something really appealing about being in a competition with one’s self. I like golf, but it annoys me because I don’t like to lose. People are better than me at golf, and I can accept that, but I still don’t like to lose. The same with football. Being ‘worse’ than someone I’m playing with or against upsets and angers me. But, if I’m just doing kick-ups and seeing how many I can do, then I’ve only got to be better than myself.
I’m a simple man. I could practice kick-ups for hours, I could throw a ball against a wall for hours. But when I’m doing it, I’m striving for betterment, for improvement. (those two words are probably redundant synonyms but it sounded good so just go with it)
Until tomorrow, I’m constantly in competition with myself.