Pendant

March 2nd 2017

Today I bought a replacement chain for my broken necklace. For over a year I’ve worn a pendant of St. Christopher around my neck on a chain. It was a gift from my late Nan, she gave it to me before I went travelling, because St. Christopher is the patron saint of travellers.

The line from St. Christopher’s prayer is ‘protect me today, in all my travels along the way’. 

About a week ago I broke the chain part of the necklace when it got caught in my earphones. It snapped completely in half. I knew there was no way that I could fix it, but I hoped a jeweller might be able to. I went into H Samuel’s today to see, but he said that because a link was completely missing they wouldn’t be able to fix it. He said that an independent jeweller might try to fix it by soldering it together, but he wouldn’t trust it’s rigidity.

So he said I’d probably have to buy a new chain.

The pendant is the important bit, I guess, but the chain still holds sentimental value, because she gave me the necklace as a whole. But, I didn’t want to run the risk of getting the chain fixed, only for it to break again, and possibly lose the pendant as well.

So I bought a new chain.

I haven’t been wearing the necklace for a week, and I know it sounds daft, but I’ve felt more anxious because of it. Not only is it reassuring to have that sentimental protection around my neck, but I treat the necklace as an almost stress ball. I absentmindedly run the pendant along the chain when I’m anxious. I’ll bite the chain when I’m nervous. It calms me down, I guess. And I’m smart enough to know that there’s no logical reason why it should, but these things cannot often be defined by logic.

Whilst I’ve not been wearing it I’ve been anxious about my ski trip this weekend, because without it I’m left with no protection, right?

I know that sounds crazy, but it’s how my brain has worked this week.

I got a new chain and fixed the pendant to it during my lunch break today, and when I came back for the afternoon I was in a completely different mood. I was the chirpiest I’ve been all week. That’s possibly to do with the fact I dunked a donut in my coffee when I got back after lunch, or it’s possibly to do with St. Christopher curing my anxiety.

I choose to attribute it to the latter.

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Until tomorrow, and now I’m safe.

Jacn

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