Socks

December 15th 2016

Today I sat on my bedroom floor and had a full on mental breakdown for twenty minutes because I’d lost every pair of socks that I own. Recently my socks have been disappearing. I don’t know how. They just go. I spend ages every morning routing around my underwear drawer in the dark, trying not to wake Alice with my stumblings. I never find a pair. So I chuck on any odd socks that I can find.

I bought five brand new pairs the other day. I’ve only worn one pair since. And I sat on the floor and flipped out because I couldn’t find the other four pairs. I literally took every single thing out of my wardrobe, and put it back in again, looking for these socks. They were no where.

I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I’ve been really forgetful lately and it’s so frustrating. And things keep going missing. A knife has disappeared from our knife rack. My lunch wasn’t in the fridge this morning even though it was definitely there last night. I somehow lost a pair of work trousers.

Socks I can kind of understand, but how the fuck does someone lose a pair of trousers? It’s because I’m so careless with my belonging, and it annoys me. And it annoys Alice because she’s the one that has to go around picking up after me. That’s probably where my new socks went. She picked them up thinking I’d just thrown them on the washing pile/corner of the bedroom.

Either that or there is a house Elf living in my attic. And he’s so far collected a bread knife, a cornish pasty and four pairs of socks.

Until tomorrow, Dobby is a free elf and he’s going to kill me in my sleep.

Jacn

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