Lilly

October 20th 2016

Today we had friends over and our friend brought her babies. You see, we’re at the age now where our friends having babies isn’t even weird – our friend having two babies isn’t even weird. Because she has a three month old, her three year old is literally old news. So it was my job to entertain the three year old whilst the girls fawned over the small one.

I was uncomfortable with the small one because, you know, it’s so breakable. I held him for a little while but was very aware that it would be awful if I dropped him. Of course, I wouldn’t ever drop him, but there’s the possibility, and that makes me anxious.

On the other hand, I can handle a three year old no problem, because all you’ve gotta do is keep it entertained. It can talk to you, it can tell you what it wants to do, it basically runs the partnership. My only challenge is keeping interest for as long as the child can.

To keep her entertained I did what any good parent would do and let her watch videos on my MacBook. A decision I now regret, judging by the stickiness and stains on my keyboard. I quickly loaded up a playlist based on a video that she suggested, and for a while I just let it play through. Problem was, she got bored of the songs really quickly and would ask for them to be changed about half way through.

From what I could tell, every single song we listened to was the same tune. Every video was some variation of the following…

Baby shark doo doo da doo baby shark doo doo da doo baby shark
Mummy shark doo doo da doo Mummy shark doo doo da doo Mummy shark
Grandma shark doo doo da doo Grandma shark doo doo da doo Grandma shark

Except for every new video there would be a new animal in place of the shark. A baby monkey. A baby pig. A baby Elsa from Frozen. The tune stayed the same, and I’ve not been able to get it out of my head since.

img_6327

The tune only changed when she randomly requested a song by Ghanaian raised, UK based reggae artist Fuse ODG.

And then it was back to

Baby shark doo doo da doo baby shark doo doo da doo baby shark
Mummy shark doo doo da doo Mummy shark doo doo da doo Mummy shark
Grandma shark doo doo da doo Grandma shark doo doo da doo Grandma shark

Eventually, I got bored of changing the songs for her so I just taught her how to scroll down the playlist and taught her how to click to choose a new song. Every time she changed song she’d clap her hands and say “I did it!” and it felt good to know that I’d taught her something, even if it was a skill as useless as changing a song on a YouTube playlist.

Let me tell you, if you’re ever struggling for work, just make a youtube channel that posts videos for kids, because some of these videos she watches have 100’s of millions of views, which equates to like £100,000 in AdSense revenue.

They have really high views, it seems, because kids will just play them over and over again on repeat. It did make me laugh that a lot of the videos had 40% dislikes, I’m assuming from parents who are really passive aggressively angry about having to play the video over and over again so have to show this anger by smashing the dislike button.

When they left Lilly told me that I was her best friend, but apparently she says that to everyone so I didn’t feel too special.

Until tomorrow, baby shark doo doo da doo,

Jacn

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s