Last

October 6th 2016

Today felt very much like one of those ‘last days’. I drove to work and it was ‘the last time I’d ever do that exact commute again’, I drove home and it was ‘the last time I’d ever do that exact commute except backwards again’. That sounds dramatic. I’m not dying or anything, I’m just moving house. In fact, I’m just moving down the road, the vast majority of my commute will still be the same. 75% of it will probably be exactly the same. I just start a little closer.

Really, I’m just dramatising it a bit. But it does feel so surreal. I kind of don’t know how to process that I’m moving out tomorrow. I’m packed, but my room doesn’t feel empty because it’s only the wardrobes that have been cleared out. And tomorrow I just re-fill the wardrobes except they’ll be wardrobes that are located in a whole other county.

Because I’d finished all my packing yesterday, I was able to go out for a drink with a couple of friends. And I just sat there and it… I dunno… it felt like one of those ‘last days’. Like everything was changing. Suddenly, our little group of friends are all sorted. Everyone’s graduated. Everyone’s got jobs. Everyone’s got boy/or/girlfriends. We’re gradually residing further and further apart. We’re just all so old.

I’m five years older than people that are starting Uni right now. And I know that this is a classically early twenties crisis to be going through, but it’s very real to me.

I was going to throw a house warming party, but firstly I only know about six people and one of them is my girlfriend and secondly we are going to be living in a town with double the average age of our current town, so instead of a house party we might have a dinner party so as not to wake the neighbours from their mid-afternoon naps.

Maybe a spread of cheese and biscuits. Some red wine. Some after dinner games.

I’m being ironic and sarcastic and I’m taking the piss, but honestly, that sounds good to me. (except for the red wine – gah)

Tomorrow will be another day of ‘lasts’.

I’m sleeping here tomorrow because the bed for the new place won’t be there until Saturday.

Until tomorrow, Saturday is when the ‘firsts’ begin.

Jacn

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