Ladder

April 28th 2016

Today was another career day wherein I applied for some 20-odd jobs and didn’t hear back from any of them. Well, I wouldn’t expect to hear back straight away, but I’m not holding my breath. Job hunting started so well for me, I was offered the first job I applied for, I turned it down. I interviewed for the next job I applied for, I got close. It started so well that I assumed that I’d get another job offer no problem and so I could afford to turn down the first one because it wasn’t “ideal” three months later and it seems that that was a naive decision.

I don’t regret not taking the first one, I just wish that I would’ve got the second one. Since being rejected after interview for what I considered to be a ‘dream job for me at the moment’ my spirits took a blow, and so did the success of my applications. If anything I’ve sped up with the frequency at which I apply, because I’m becoming less and less specific as I become more and more desperate.

There’s a pretty ‘ideal’ job that I (Alice) found today, that would be literally hashtag career goals. But, because the offered salary is slightly above my pay-grade, once again I can see myself being thwarted by the old enemy… “Lack of experience” It’s the kind of role that I could get excited about, like the 2nd job I interviewed for, if I let myself. I know that there’s no point talking myself into it yet, before I’ve even had so much as an email from the company.

The job is writing about travel, for a living. Hashtag career goals, as I said. And it, like many many jobs before it, would’ve been perfect for me if … and say this with me now… “IF I HAD EXPERIENCE” it’s a vicious circle, everyone knows it, of not being able to get experience because no one will hire you because you don’t have experience. So you have to Drake it and start from the bottom somewhere you hate because you can’t go straight in at somewhere you love. And that may have to be my route in, a convoluted climb of a career ladder in the aim of eventually getting somewhere close to where I want to be. Because if I could step straight onto the ladder and ‘Where I want to be’ is right at the bottom, then whats the point in climbing? What’s the point in the ladder? That makes sense, right?

So, and this point has been barked at me for a while now, maybe I have to accept that to get to the top of the ladder I have to climb through the mud at the bottom.

Until tomorrow, I don’t particularly want to get covered in mud.

Jacn

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