February 14th 2016
Today concluded my Valentine’s weekend with Alice. It was marvellous. And here’s why.
Throughout the course of our relationship we haven’t often bought into the Valentine’s tradition of spending a fuck tonne of money at Clintons and Thorntons. I’d like to think we both agree that ones love is not defined by the size of a bouquet of roses. We don’t celebrate anniversaries because the sorry truth is that we break up too much to keep track of dates, or milestones. We don’t go mad on Christmas presents, we buy gifts who’s price tags don’t include commas, and we save our money to do things, not to have things. We have a date night every week, we travelled Europe together for three months, we go on weekends away like the one we’ve just come back from.
I say that we don’t traditionally celebrate Valentine’s Day, but for the past two years we have. Not because it’s Valentine’s Day and we feel we have to prove our love to each other, or to anyone else, but because the holiday gives us an excuse to get away and just be together.
Being away in Oxford was reminiscent of our time in Europe, although somewhat colder and more rainy and less European, insofar as we could just be together without worry about work or life or money, I could just concentrate on being totally in love with her.
What works so well about our relationship is that it is effortless, it doesn’t need work, not really. I mean, all relationships need work, and commitment and yada yada but the way we are together just flows without force or falseness. One thing to mention about Alice is that she never shuts up, right? And a side effect to that is that conversation never stops and there is never a silence between us. To me, a good conversation is so important in a relationship.
Oh, also. She’s like absolutely gorgeous so that really helps.
At dinner last night I observed other couples, the couple next to us sat there in awkward silence for the entire interlude between their starters and mains, only finding temporary solace when spoken to by the waiter. They grumbled “£80 for that meal is hardly worth it” as it came to paying, and I chuckled as the girl opened the calculator on her phone and added up what each of them owed toward the meal.
It just seems forced some times, with other couples, like they’re only there because they have to be, not because they want to be.
We walked around a designer outlet village today for 25 minutes before Alice decided she couldn’t justify asking me to spend that much because she knows my love for her cannot be quantified by the number of golden chain links on a mulberry handbag. But it seems that that is the only way for some men to show love, with materials.
As much as I know that Alice would love a designer handbag, she knows that I don’t need to prove my love for her by buying one. Love is more than that.
Love is talking non stop because you find each other so entertaining and interesting, not talking just to fill the silences. And being happy in the silences, and being in them together.
I dunno, I just love that girl. It works, we work. It’s real, it’s effortless and with any luck it’s forever.
Until tomorrow, happy Valentine’s Day.