December 27th 2015

Today was the third time in as many weeks that I’ve been sworn at whilst at work. I need a new job. 

This time it was on the phone. A guy phoned up and said “I’m pulling a prank on my mate can I buy a box full of cheese”

“No” I said, with little time for foolishness. 

“Why not?” He said, with little brain or intelligence. 

“Because there’s no way I could put that through on the system. It’s not on the menu.” I said, as that was true. 

“Fine. Fuck off then you cunt.” He said, with little brain or intelligence. 

“Fuck you too, you prick.” I said, as that was true. 

And I imagine because they got a reaction from me that that encouraged them to continue. A few minutes later they – a she this time – rang back. 

“Good afternoon, thanks for calling Pizza Hut how can I help?” I said. 

“Hi is this Domino’s?” She said. 

“No.” I said. 

“Oh. I prefer Domino’s. Can you give me the number for Domino’s?” She said, thinking that that would be really offensive and upsetting to me. 

“No, sorry, I don’t know it.” I said, really offended and upset. 

And I hung up. 

I stopped answering the phone shortly thereafter and shortly after that it stopped ringing. It’s possible that some actual customers attempted to call, but I was beyond caring at that point. 

I don’t understand pranks. Like, what’s the object? Is it to entertain or to irritate. If it’s the latter, then, congrats whoever you are, you were successful. You annoyed me. If it’s to entertain, then I hope it was entertaining for you. 

Was it entertaining for you? 

You see videos of people going up to strangers in the street and slapping them in the face in the name of the prank. And then they get beat the shit out of whilst screaming “it’s a prank bro it’s a prank bro it’s a prank bro dude bro” 

Who wins here? You’ve just taking time out of someone’s day to annoy them and you’ve been punched in the face because of it. Who is the winner? 

What also annoys me, and probably shouldn’t, is a Twitter thing. You get people, lots of people, send abuse to social media interns on the help desk for big companies. 

ASDA is a good example. 

The prankster will tweet “I have a problem with my item” and the ASDA help desk intern will respond, because it is their job to respond, and then the prankster will reply with a picture of the item in/on/with something unpleasant and the prankster will get retweets and replies full with emoji’s and the ASDA help desk intern will add another line to the tally chart titled “people who have done this kinda shit to me today” that is plastered on the wall of his cubicle. Because the ASDA help desk person has to read the tweet, and respond to the first one. It’s their job. And people don’t realise that. 

It’s my job to answer the phone. And wasting my time speaking with someone who wants a box full of cheese restricts me from doing that. 

I dunno. I’m a grump old man, but it’s annoying. 

Until tomorrow, it’s just a prank bro. 



3 thoughts on “Prank

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