July 4th 2015

Today I felt old. I did a long shift at work (waiter in a restaurant, if you’re new around here) and the majority of my co-workers are younger than me. This is probably, and definitely, because you don’t have to pay 16 year olds as much as you do 21 year olds so it makes sense to hire a bunch of them for half price, it’s like a buy one get one free deal compared to paying for one of me.

Anyway, I’ve never felt particularly old before, I think mainly because I have aged alongside the people with whom I work, (because everyone ages at the same rate, weirdly) but now because all of the older staff have left for real jobs it’s just me and the kids. And there’s a noticeable generation gap.

I’m going to feel like my dad for saying this but one of the 16 year old’s used a phrase earlier that I genuinely had never heard before, nor immediately knew what it meant. Ready for this?

“Bruv, this song does bits” he said, as a new song came on the radio.

Yeah, me either.

I mean, I could kinda work out what it meant just by context, but as a phrase it just completely escaped me.

Now, as an almost 22-year old University graduate, I am starting to feel old. When I serve this new generation of (whatever the “nineties kid” equivalent is for the years from 2010-2020?) teenagers I’m just like, “Come on, at 14 you have an iPhone 6, thigh-high boots and a belt for a top?”

Working with these ‘kids’ that are only five years younger than me feels like it would if my Dad came to the pub with me and my friends. It feels like there’s a generation gap but it’s only five years, and only three for some of them. One of boys had his secondary school prom yesterday, and I’ve just finished University.

I feel old. But I’m fine with that, because I’ve had my childhood and my adolescence, I never really had any teenage angst or rebellion, but I did once drink Strongbow down the park without telling my Mum. (Which is probably daft to put in this blog because the first thing she’ll say to me tomorrow morning will be an expletive rant about that, probably.)

But I’ve lived those years, I’m the kinda person that wants to be an adult, I don’t wish to have my teenage years back, not at all, I didn’t particularly enjoy them. I want to be 25, married with two kids, in my own house with my dog and two cats and have a book published. And I want to be 25 forever because fuck getting even older than I am now.

Until tomorrow, bruv, this song does bits.



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