June 4th 2015
Today, (well… tonight) I’m going out again. And I’m not going out because I want to, I’m going out because I feel I have to. Getting drunk last night reminded me why I don’t like getting drunk. It’s expensive, messy, painful, and you don’t really gain anything from the cost, mess or pain. Last night I left the Union about half 1. Not particularly late, but not ridiculously early. I left because I was done. I’m always really up for the night out before hand but when I get out my interest dies.
So I tend to just walk out.
I get to a level of inebriation where I just think “Nope. That’s me done.” I’m self-aware enough to know when to stop, and when enough is just the right amount. I don’t go past the limit to the point of complete incapacitation, I don’t let myself. My brain never switches off and I always have this little warning light that tells me when I’m nearing max capacity. And I never (usually) go past it. I have a filter. Whereas a lot of people I know don’t. They’ll keep going and going until they’re on the floor or in their bed with no recollection of how they arrived at either destination. I don’t see the point in that. If I’m going to waste the money on pouring paint-stripper and orange juice down my throat then I at least want to be able to remember it in the morning.
When did I become such a boring old man? I’m 21 for God’s sake. I know that in ten, twenty, fifty years time I’ll wish, hope, and pray that I could be a 21 year old Student again. With no cares, responsibilities or worries. But right now I’m thinking way too much. I think that every round of drinks I buy is one less night on my Eurotrip this summer. Every night out is one less week. And I’ve eaten out four times in two days, and I’m going go-karting tomorrow, and I’ve got a festival on Saturday. I’m shaving weeks off my trip, and for what? What do I have to show for all this money I’m swallowing? A bad head and a weakened liver.
Great, I’m paying money to make myself feel like shit.
Until tomorrow, what type of backwards logic is that?