Alone

March 17th 2015

Today I had a piece of coursework to do. It was an awfully timed piece of coursework, because it was assigned and due for hand in during a week when I have two class tests. But I found a few hours between test revision to do the homework. This homework was for the module that I do alone, which meant I had zero help, and zero idea where to start.

But I completely smashed it.

It’s weird, when I have the help available I’ll abuse it even if I don’t need it. Say this was a piece of coursework for a module that I share with my coursemates, if we all sat down together to do it, I’d be reluctant to put any effort into figuring it out because I know I can just get someone to explain it to me in five minutes. Even though I’m capable of answering the question, I’d much rather relax for five minutes then let someone else tell me how to do it. And I know that’s a shit attitude but there you go.

The thing about my course is that there can’t be too much debate over what the right answer is, or how you can interpret the question or any nonsense. In Maths there is a correct answer, and a correct method of getting to that answer. So if I write down the same answer as someone else I’d get full marks, if that was another subject I’d get called up and quartered for plagiarism.

The problem is this. I can either spend an hour trying to get my head around how to work out the question, doing research, looking up past notes, finding external help,or I can have Daryl walk me through the method once he’s figured it out. And not only will I understand it more that way, I’ll get a better mark as well. Swings/Roundabouts.

But today I didn’t have Daryl’s help, I didn’t have anyone’s help. I was alone. And I smashed it.

When I actually get my head down and concentrate, and try to work out what it is I’m supposed to be doing, I’m actually quite intelligent. Today, with what at first seemed a hard coursework sheet, once I’d started on it, and put some fucking effort into it, it was doable, because I did it.

I’m probably not going to get as good a grade as I would’ve had someone else’ve talked me through the answers, but I’m pretty proud that I got it myself.

The courseworks are my bumpers, I rely on them to push my grade up because it’s often easier to score highly in a coursework than in an exam. Last semester I failed a module by 9%, but passed it because coursework bumped me up over the pass mark. So it’s probably worth giving these courseworks a go…

Until tomorrow, believe in yourself, for that’s the place to start.

Jacn

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