January 18th 2015
Today signified my last day of revision for a few months. Tomorrow is my last exam, and tomorrow is the exam for the module that I am taking on my own. So tomorrow I will know whether my gamble/risk was worthwhile. Let’s hope so.
I can’t fucking wait for these exams to be over, just so I can go back to being free. For the past few weeks or so I’ve barely had a free hour. And whenever I decided to take a free hour and just play xbox or sit on twitter I’d start to feel really guilty that I wasn’t doing revision. And I hated that.
Because at the end of these exams I’m going to have to ask myself “Did I do the best that I could?” and the answer will probably be no. Because I could always try harder. I could always do an extra hour. I could wake up earlier or get to bed later. I could have a shorter lunch break or less coffee breaks.
But for my sanity, I can’t do that. Fortunately, from now, I don’t have to feel bad about sitting on the xbox or flicking through twitter. Now I finally get to start making my way through the stack of books I got for christmas, now I can actually spend time cooking a proper meal instead of microwaving a £1.49 curry. I am properly looking forward to tomorrow, for it all to be over. I’m not looking forward to the exam because that would be crazy, but I’m looking forward to the freedom taking the exam will bring me.
Until tomorrow, I set my body on fire so I could be free.