To my Future Reader,
Tomorrow marks the end of the official NaNoWriMo, (my personal one ends on Sunday night) thus us authors and writers young and old are, or at least should be, nearing the end of this months novel. Saying “this months novel” sounds like novels are a phenomenon that can be knocked out at a rate of 12 per year. They aren’t. NNWM is an exception and is exceptional in itself.
My progress in the final week of NNWM has been tenfold that of my progress in the first week, at the time of writing this I am at 45,000 words of the allocated/recommended/required 50,000. 25% of that total has been written over the past three days. Today alone I have written 5,000 words, yesterday 4,000 and the day before 3,800. Before then I was lucky to push out 1,000 per day. I think realising the deadline was close spurred me on, I thought I didn’t like to write to a deadline, but it seems that I do. I get the job done when I have a deadline to look out for. I’m doing well, I followed the advice of something I read on another blog. “Aiming for 5,000 a day and be satisfied with anything you achieve over 2,000. It’s much better than aiming for 1,000 and stopping.” It seemed to work for me. I think that’s pretty good life advice in general, reach for the stars and be happy when you only graze the moon. Don’t reach for the clouds and settle on them. That S Club 7 song wouldn’t have been nearly as successful if it was called “Reach for the clouds” now would it?
I have to write 5,000 words by Sunday night and I’m done with the 50,000 goal.
But that in no way means that I am done. No way.
You see, I’ve got to a certain stage in my novel. It is a stage I have read of other Author’s going through, and it’s nothing to do with what’s happening in the book. I’ve gotten to the stage where I hate everything I have written and think it’s crap and clichéd and not interesting and poorly written and crap and clichéd. I’ve read about this happening to others, so I’m not particularly worried. I’m sure it’s just a consequence of the fact that I have been staring at this computer screen nonstop since I got back from lectures 9 hours ago. It’s been a productive 9 hours though, as long as I don’t delete everything I’ve written because I think it’s crap and did I mention clichéd.
I did something for the first time today that I think probably caused this feeling, I spoke about my plot and general ebb and flow of my book with my housemates. It was the first time I had spoken about anything to do with what’s in the book aloud. And it just sounded ridiculous, and I was getting self concious again, the same way I do when I write in front of people. I found myself judging and gauging their reactions to see how they really felt about certain things I told them, compared to what they said. And I think that is good and that is also bad.
The thing about my book is that it’s kind of meant to be a bit clichéd, that’s sort of kind of the point of it. It’s not clichéd in an ironic way, it just sort of has to be like that to work. I know that if I reworked it slightly I could scrap most of the clichéness out of it, it’s a YA novel set in an American High School so take from that what you will.
I’ve also recently noticed that I have a habit of starting every single fucking sentence with ” I “. I also have a habit of exaggerating, but still. I find myself having to completely reword sentences just so the novel doesn’t have an “I did this I did that and then I did this” feel. It’s probably me being my own harshest critic, but I am the only person that has read the book, so right now I am my only critic.
So, to sum up, I’m nearly done. But I am also not in the slightest nearly done, hope that clears things up.